Your child, usually so calm, rolls on the floor, screams and throws his toys: it’s a tantrum. Don’t worry, there’s nothing abnormal about this sudden burst of emotion. Tantrums are very common between the ages of 2 and 4 and are part of a child’s development. Find out all our tips for coping calmly.
How do tantrums manifest themselves in children?
During a tantrum, children can show their anger in different ways. Their face turns red, they cry and scream, stomp and roll on the floor. They may kick or bite, and sometimes hold their breath. Although impressive, these behaviours are not cause for concern.
Why does my child have a tantrum?
Tantrums most often occur in situations that trigger excessive emotions. The following elements are often present
- Frustration: the child doesn’t get what he or she wants or fails to perform an activity that is too difficult for him or her.
- Constraint: the child has to follow instructions when they don’t want to.
- Physical discomfort: tiredness, thirst or hunger.
- Incomprehension: the child would like to express him/herself, but does not yet have the words to do so or is not always properly understood.
- Need for company: children want to attract the attention of those around them, but don’t always know how.
How can they be prevented?
Some tantrums can be avoided by adopting a few simple habits.
Respect your child’s rhythm and plan ahead. Establish a routine for their day, with mealtimes and bedtimes, to meet their need for stability. Before going out, remember to pack a few toys and something to eat and drink.
Make sure you limit the use of screens. Excessive use of these media will have negative effects on your child’s development and affect their emotional regulation.
Instead, focus on developing their knowledge of emotions! Joy, sadness, anger: together you can read story books that deal with them, to learn to name them and recognise them.
How should you react to a tantrum?
First of all, be calm and affectionate. Don’t let your own emotions overwhelm you, as this could make things worse. Don’t try to reason with your child either, as he’s not in a position to listen to you and will certainly feel overwhelmed by the situation.
Remain consistent in your educational choices and don’t give in to your child’s unjustified demands. By setting limits, you will help your child to develop properly. Talk to them and express the emotions they are going through, so that they gradually learn to identify their feelings.
Never suggest screen time as a way of calming them down! This prevents them from dealing with their emotions and, in the long term, leads to even more intense tantrums.
Instead, help him to calm down in other ways. Offer him a shared activity to help him calm down in your company:
- Listen to soft music.
- Browse through a book they particularly like.
- Do some colouring.
- Cuddle their favourite cuddly toy.
Finally, don’t hesitate to ask for help. If you lose your temper, pass the baton to an adult around you.
And when your child has finally calmed down, don’t forget to congratulate them on their efforts!erdez votre calme, passez le relai à un adulte de votre entourage.